I have been with my husband for almost 10 years. When we got together my daughter was 3. My husbands kids were 5 and 7. Today my daughet is 13. My husbands kids are 15 and 17. I have helped raise these children. In the beginning of our relationship I dealt with his ex wife. She was engaged to a new man in her life but apparently was not happy that my husband was moving on with his life. She cheated on him and left him. But God forbid he live without her crazy ass. Anyways, I started dating him in November around Thanksgiving time. The harassment started. Calling me at work, showing up at the house, calling the house over and over and over and over again. Literally we would sit watching TV and the phone would ring. (Thank God for caller ID) She would call at least 20 times straight in a row. Hang up...call back...Hang up...call back. One night we were going to go Christmas Shopping. My husbands kids were there and their Mom was coming to get them. At this time I had not been face to face with her. She came to the house and I stayed in the bathroom. Not wanting to give her a reason to make a sceen in front of the kids. That didn't work. She makes comments in front of the kids to him "Where is your girlfriend? What is she scared? I'm not gonna hurt her....yet" What the hell? Your kids are in the room you psycho! But that is just how she is. So we go to leave. I needed something out of my car. Well I go to find my keys and they are no where to be found. Now I am just like any normal female. Scatter brained. So I searched and searched. I told my husband that I know I laid them on the counter. I know I did. Because my step daughter was climbing on the counter trying to get a cup. I laid the keys down then went to help her. My words to him that night "I don't want to accuse her off taking my keys (even though she has done nothing but harrass me) but I think she took my keys!" So he called her and she didn't answer. We go do our shopping and not let it stop us from doing our thing. He finally gets ahold of her and she denys it. Go figure. Then on the way home he got a message. It was psycho. "Hey I got a little present for your girlfriend. I'm on my way to your place now" I was right. Go figure! She took my keys. That night didn't go well. She attacked me! Went straight for the hair! Are you kidding me? How old are you? The only reason I did not press charges on her then was because of my husband. He was worried about his kids. He got her to leave and I have never never in my life felt like I did that night. I was sooooooo MAD! We had only been dating a month. Do I really need this psycho bitch in my life??? But I knew there was something different about this man that had came into my life. Well when she stole my keys she found out where I worked because my ID badge was on the keys. So then the harassing phone calls started at my work place. I am honestly surprised I did not get fired. She would just not leave well enough alone. I got sick and ended up in the hospital for 3 days. She goes in my husbands house and steals my stuff. PSYCHO! So why did I stay????? Well I did....and she eventually met a new man (other than the one she was engaged too) and things got "alittle" better. If things were going her way then it was fine. We went through a court hearing because of her new family. She wanted to change weekends but didn't have a valid reason too...long story short. It was thrown out. We won and she was pissed! Changing weekends wasn't a big deal...but what she says is not always the way it is and we needed to make that clear. Thankfully that worked out in our favor. Not gonna lie it was pure enjoyment when I got that phone call at work that day. She was mad and was gonna try to make our lives a mess because she didn't get what she wanted. At that time I would pick up the kids on my way home...so around 5:30 I would get them...well divorce papers say 6:30 so she wouldn't let me get them then I had to wait. We didn't make a big deal...whatever. Of course that didn't last because the kids being there an extra hour eventually ended up messing up her sechdule. Wouldn't want that to happen!! Anyways, some how along this crazy journey I ended up being the middle man between ex wife and ex husbnad. I handled the schedule with the kids...where to pick them up...when....christmas schedule...easter and so on. I went to games they played like soccer/football/cheering. Why the hell did this happen??? I am a peace keeper I guess. I was trying to keep as much of a balance in this as I could. Trying to help my husband who can't stand her AT ALL! This worked for a bit and we even became friendly with eachother. I could see her and talk with her..Watch a football game the kids were in and not want to choke her. Did this last??? ummmm NO! lol She went through another divorce with her second husband. Which she would call me ALL THE TIME wanting to talk to me. Asked me to go to the movies with her. Hell no! I don't mind being civil and work together but I'm not your friend! And when I listened to her babble on it was not for her...it was for my benefit. I took it all in. I didn't care how she felt. This was 3 years ago now maybe. She hits the bar sceen partying it up with low lives! So she fit in quite well. Eventually my stepson comes to live with us. He has lived with us for over 2 years now. We still pay full child support even though he lives with us. Anything to get him the attention he needed and away from her. She had a new man living in her house now. Someone from what I hear sells drugs. And that is where my step daughter lives. Then they break up....and 2 weeks after this man leaves her house she meets a new man. Husband #3. She moves her and her daughter in with a man she has known for 2 weeks. Kinda like her second husband...except she got pregnant with her second husbnad after 2 weeks. So she moves in with this man that she doesn't really know all that well. Guess what?? He has been to prison for killing a man!!! I can't make this shit up!!! WHAT???? So a few weeks after she moves in with him they get married. That lasted ummm...3 months. I tell you all this so you get a better understanding of what I have gone through. Which leds me to the children.
In the beginning it was great. Kids loved me...my step daughter always sensed something was wrong. She always told me I was too pretty for her Daddy. lol She would ask me if I liked her Mom. I would always answer her and NEVER speak bad of her. My answer was simply "hunny I don't know your Mamma." And I would leave it at that. Well I move in with my husband and we become a family. We weren't married yet but we were living the life of a normal family. My step son started having issues in school. He wouldn't do his work. I would go online and check on his work. I would call him mother and tell her he had this many zeros and so on. He would lie and cover up stuff. Disrespectful. He started to resent me. It was like he lashed out at me because he was getting in trouble. It is my fault he is in trouble because I was the one checking up on him and telling his parents. He was probably around 9-10 when all this began. That was the start of the end or our relationship! He told me he hated me and my daughter. I have so much built up anger in my heart over things that boy has done or said to me. If I tell him to do something he would go out of his way to NOT DO what I told him. Complete disrespect. Then I start seeing a pattern with him. He has issues with authority and women. Wonder why?? So there comes a time when we all agree that he needs to live with his father to get back in line. Get grades up and learn to be a man that respects people. All of us sat and talked with him. He had to move schools. I told him then that I would let the past be the past and we can start fresh! A new beginning. That lasted a week. I have felt like a prisoner in my own home for over a year! I can not put into words how I feel. I'm hurt and feel I have no control. His Mother does nothing but talk bad about me. (About a year and a half ago I told her exactly what I thought of her. Haven't talked to her since) But yet she still lets him live with us (Not that she has a choice anymore) But here in the past month I have seen a change in my step son. He is 17 years old now. I have seen him making a valid effort to be nice. I have not known how to really handle that. I have my guard up still. Not gonna lie. But I don't want to dismiss his efforts either. It has been a real struggle for me. God apparently feels I can't handle two step kids giving me shit. Which leds me to my step daughter. Oh where do I start?? She and I have always had a great relationship. Or so I thought. She would go places with me and my daughter. I never had to ask or tell her she could go. I was just something that came natural. I treated her as if she was mine! (and I did that for my step son too..he just dismissed it) My step daughter went though a hard time when Psycho was still with her 2nd husband. She talked about sex alot and confessed to some crazy things. It really freaked me out. Not gonna lie. She was probably 11 or 12 when that happened. Anyways, end up taking her to a psychatrist. ???? They diagnose her with OCD. Says that one type of OCD makes you have sexual thoughts and tendencies?? This went on for way too long. I have a journal of this time. My step daughter was using this to get her Mother's attention. She would have outragious behavoir at her mothers house and be perfectly normal at our house. I went and talked to the doctor one day. Gave her my jouranl and said read this! She asks my step daughter about the different behavoirs and the differnet houses. What was her response. She refused to talk to that doctor and never wanted to go back. We spent thosands of dollars on this...guess what??? She has nothing wrong with her today. OCD is something you battle with your whole life. You learn to cope with it. She is perfectly noraml in that sense. Well a year ago we had an issue with her and her phone. Let me say this too. My step daughter is over weight. She battles with her weight badly. She probably weights 215 now and is 15. And it is not getting better but worse. That leds me to this...she went to text a friend. She texted the wrong #. Instead of saying my bad wrong #....she stricks up a convo with a complete stranger. Long story short she talks about everything from drugs, sex, bi-sexuality and more. Within a 24 period she is now in love with this complete stranger that claims to be a kid and they are boyfriend/girlfriend. (wonder why she is so quick in relationships??? Maybe from her Mother's example...just a guess) It is a miracle we even came to find out this. I over heard her ask him to explain himself. We took the phone and was shocked at what they were texting back and forth to eachother. She was planning on metting this boy. She didn't know shit about him!!! Scared the hell out of me. Well then in school she has gotten in the wrong crowd. Has done drugs and drank. And we have no control.
During all this though I have stepped back. These past 10 years have been a roller coaster ride from hell. One thing I can say is this. I LOVE MY HUSBAND! He has backed me 100 million percent. He started seeing the disrespect his son was giving me. And now my step daughter feels that we don't want her around. She told her Dad that her Mom told her we didn't want her to come over during the week anymore. We said no such thing. And he set that straight. All her Mother does is bash me still to this day and has pretty much destroyed our relationship. I'm civil and we get along...but it is different. Some of the things she has told my daughter have me scratching my head asking why???? I'm worried about her but I have no control. I have had to step back and just let it go! I'm not their Mother. I'm not their Father! They will lash out on me before either of their parents. I'm not going to be the target anymore! I don't discuss any of these issues. I have not said one word to my step daughter about her drug use or kissing girls. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I know this blog is long and there is so much that has been left out.
I can leave on this note. If your a frustrated stepmom do one thing! Foucs on you and your husbnad. I am here because I feel in love with my husband. And I'm sure his ex has been the way she has been towards us because she can't stand the fact we are still together and happy after 10 years. She has been trying so hard to pull us apart but yet she pushed us closer together! And that is why I have stayed!! This journey is not over for me. And I know it is probably gonna get worse with my step daughter. All I can do is pray and give it to God.
